Have you ever wondered what would it look like at the end of your life? What do you see then?
Fifteen years ago in 2005, one late night in Beijing, early winter, my family all fell asleep, and I was alone in the study room with only the desk lamp on, holding a book in my hand, and in front of me was paper and pen. I was contemplating an important thinking process of life.
According to the introduction in the book, I quietly closed my eyes and imagined that one day I drove to the funeral of an old friend. After arriving at the venue, park the car and enter the farewell hall. In the middle of the hall, the old friend’s coffin was properly placed. It’s still a while before the farewell ceremony began, and there were not many people in the hall. I walked over to the coffin and took a look, and I was shocked! The person lying peacefully inside is not someone else, but myself! It turns out that the funeral to be held soon is my own!
I quickly found a seat, and of course no one noticed me (I was already lying in the coffin). Next, I carefully imagined the observation to see who came to my funeral and who spoke at the farewell ceremony. I also listened carefully to how those people value my life, because what they tell contains the character I want to have, what I want to be or what I want to achieve.
The book I was holding that night was named "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and was published in 1989, by Stephen Covey, a famous American educator who was named one of the 25 most influential people in the United States by Times in 1996; Forbes called "Seven Habits" one of the ten best business books in history. Two-thirds of the Fortune 500 companies have hired the consulting company he founded[i].
I got to know the book quite accidentally. I worked for Motorola China at that time, and participated in a series of manager trainings called China Accelerated Manager Program. I devote myself to the training, always being inspired, and always active to share my learnings. Maybe it’s my status that makes people think I haven’t seen “good stuff” before. During an outdoor experiential training session, a classmate said to me, “Sherman, I know something more excited than this. Have you heard of seven habits? " That question let met search for the book. At that time, my boss was in Hong Kong. He knew that I was looking for this book, and he was very supportive. He paid me and my team a copy each (English version) and sent them to Beijing. I have always cherished this book.
When I looked back my time between age 30 and 40, I began to have some in-depth thinking about life, and I just came across the book "Seven Habits". This imagination exercise in the book also has those seven habits, which slowly changed my life path. Now, 15 years later, I have clearly felt that I am living as I hoped for, and I feel very fulfilled.
This funeral imagination exercise that greatly influenced me appeared in introduction of the second habit "Begin with the end in mind". The meaning of "starting with the end" is to think clearly at the beginning what it is like at the end. This habit can be widely used in study, work and life.
I have experiences in communication system project management for more than 20 years. In the professional project management process, to ensure the success of the project, there must be a project statement at the beginning of the project. It describe the scope of work, objectives and acceptance criteria of the project. I thought at the time, it is the actual application of the "end to start" habit in work!
For parents, from the birth of a child to they become an adult, it is also a process with beginning and ending. If adopting “Begin with the end in mind”, it’s to start thinking when your child is just born or very young, about what you want your child to become when they enter into adulthood. This may contain the qualities, abilities and achievements you want your child to have. If parents think about this in advance, there should be a lot of firmness and a lot of entanglement in the education process.
The ultimate end of life is the death, so using the habit of "begin with the end in mind" in one's own life is to think about an important question: "When I leave this world, what do I want to leave behind?" As soon as you start thinking, it's like planting a seed in your heart. Although this seed does not immediately change your world, but as you continue to think about it, it is like nourishing and slowly the seeds will germinate. You will start seeing opportunities that would otherwise impossible, and seizing them will make various positive changes in your life. If you think through this ultimate question clearly, the internal drive will pull you in the direction that you hope for. You will spend the rest of your life working in the desired direction and feeling fully energized because those goals are not for others, you are on fire. What a wonderful state!
Some principles are the same be it in the West or East, the truth about life is the same. The concept of "starting with the end" was not created by Mr. Covey. In the preface to the 25th anniversary edition of "The Seven Habits", Jim Colins (author of "Good to Great") wrote that he once asked Covey how he came up with the idea of the 7 habits, covey said it was not his idea, they were like natural laws and what he did was to put them together and synthesize them for people. [ii]
That’s so true! In my later study, I discovered that the book "The Great Learning", which records Confucius' thoughts, revealed this truth at the very beginning of the work,
“Things have their root and their branches. Affairs have their end and their beginning. To know what is first and what is last will lead near to what is taught in the Great Learning."[iii]
Pay attention to the order of "end” and "start”, “end” appeared first and then “beginning”. It is not difficult to notice that Confucius said that if you think the “end” first before starting, you are following the natural law. Look, the ancestor had understood this truth more than two thousand years ago!
If you have already figured out what your ultimate goal is and are working hard in that direction, congratulations! If you haven't had time to think deeply, you might try it. Ask yourself: "When I leave this world, what do I want to leave behind?"
No matter which stage of life you are now, answer this important question, the rest of your life will be meaningful!
Picture: Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay
[i] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/17/business/stephen-r-covey-herald-of-good-habits-dies-at-79.html [ii] https://www.jimcollins.com/article_topics/articles/The-7-Habits-of-Highly-Effective-People.html [iii] http://classics.mit.edu/Confucius/learning.html
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